Thursday, October 28, 2010

Love Quilt: a new way to announce your love

Love Quilt: a new way to announce your love
By: Kyle McDougal

Love the quilt is a brand new Web site and the idea, which was thought of and created by a 20-year-old students from the University of Cincinnati named Kyle McDougal. his love for computers, as well as the idea of owning his own business led him to combine the two in this new and innovative website. He researched a little about the concept of showing how you really feel about other online, and it has never been done before, which got him excited because it is something new and interesting.


This website is doing, is to allow you to show your own customizable box on the Web site for all homapge to see each box contains customizable features requested by the owner of it, with their own personal shout-out person for their choice, or by way of derogation from the second they decide to put in the box.Up to three images can also be added to your box, which will drop-down list from the box when someone rolls over it. with their cursor. each box is also marked with the own number, so it is easy to find your box later down the road, when several are sold. Each box costs a single dollar and all payment methods are accepted, which includes mail delivery, PayPal and credit cards. Kyle would end this site can be filled with boundless love shout-outs and stories to create a fantastic atmosphere for many people to enjoy.

The idea of ' The Love Quilt was conceived from ' a string of events in recent years, which resulted in the passing of a couple of Kyles very close family members.Emotions in those times was running high for the whole family, and there was an abundance of love and gratitude, there needed to be expressed to those people who were lost.Of course, people would listen to the flooding of sorrow and grief, there were labelled, but there is nothing as "direct" displays the specific people how you feel, or felt about them Love Quilt was created for you to show you how to really see them you love in your life, letting you express your feelings for all to see.

The name of this site may sound weird confusing at first, but makes sense If you think about it. the layout that was decided to be used for the Web site consists of rows of boxes that are all identical in size and shape. Kyle decided that these boxes, which contain their own unique and meaningful stories come together to make a concept very close to the one we. 'The Promise Quilt» trode then by as a name for this Web site., visit The Love Quilt today and express your love.

Do not forget to leave a comment about what you think about this Web site!

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Diagnosing Commitment Phobia

Diagnose commitment phobia
A reluctance to commit themselves to a relationship can mean many things. here is how to tell them apart.

Move a relationship from the "just dating" phase to the next level can feel like a round of "says a mole".

There are popular arcade games player stands in front of a machine with a flat top, the size of a small kitchen table. Periodic, automated moles pop out of a head of a half dozen holes in the surface. The aim of the game is to BOP on you in the head with a mallet, oversized before they disappear again.The faster you swing, the more they pop up and down. Sounds easy enough; But the moles is quick little rodents. Just when you think you have been given a in your sights — you do not.

If this reminds you of your romantic relationship — a constant game of "catch-me-If-you-can ' — so you can be involved with a person suffering from commitment phobia. You may be the person. Regardless of whether you hide in the holes, or holding the hammer wants your partner would just stand still for a second, this article is for you. Here are four things you should know:


Commitment phobia often misdiagnosed."Phobia" is a word that carries a negative connotation, imply irrational, even obsessive fear. but you should be cautious before accusing the partner, or even to be "scared" to commit. Careful deliberation when you make a decision with lifelong consequences are not necessarily irrational or timid. It is sometimes the most sensible thing to do. Double-checking your parachute before jumping out of an aircraft makes you acrophobic?Certainly not.

Commitment phobia flares up when "what next?" is coming too early.If you or your partner feel unsettled at the idea of settling, the signal is nothing more than the need to allow more time go by before considering an exclusive relationship.Speed up to nail down your future together can, paradoxically, poison it — if the time is not yet right. remember, just because one of you feel ready now does not mean the other should as well.Each of us must arrive in life-changing decisions in our own time.

Commitment phobia can signal the unresolved pain in a person's past.When a relationship takes longer to develop than we would like to, we often respond in frustration, fluctuates hammer harder than ever.It is unlikely to help, especially when the reason for the reluctance is a still-tender emotional wounds one of them, the shielding from further injury. If a previous commitment went badly, it may take an extra helping of compassion and understanding — easily on the allegations — before you are ready to try again.

Commitment phobia is sometimes exactly, it seems — a Dodge.When all other options have been considered and discarded, what is left can be an unpleasant truth — your partner withdraws his or her feet to keep options open in case of any better come. normally found other obvious warning signs and. If so, call it, just as it is and move on.

What is the best antidote against confusion over commitment phobia? Patience ... judgment ... and communication — lots of it.

By eHarmony

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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

We should Do about relationships?

We should Do about relationships?
By eHarmony
Means more knowledge about a subject that always lead to better results? What with the couple, who have been married for 50 years, 60 years and more?They came up in an age where knowledge about healthy relationships was limited, they are just lucky.? What do you think?

The number one song of the year was "Sweet Georgia Brown".Charlie Chaplin excluded, box office, and f. Scott Fitzgerald published "The Great Gatsby." it was the age of Al Capone and Louis Armstrong. A first-class stamp cost $. 02. it was in 1925.

It was also the year of the 18-year-old Clarence Vail proposed to his 16-year-old baby Mayme. they were married in Hugo, Minnesota and have resided in the way of 83 years, as reported by msnbc.com.Their secret? they have no secret!"I guess you just stick, what is to come," says Mayme.

They have lasted through a world war, a depression, six children, different health challenges;and Mayme points out that they have not had an argument since 1946.

A conversation with a few like Vail on the keys to a lasting relationship can be rather dissatisfying, because they have so little to share on the subject. it is almost like they got married, and the relationship never gave a second thought. could it be secret their long relationship?


There is no doubt, to the extent of self-critical and the discussion around relationships has grown exponentially in the last 50 years. An entire industry of books, coaches, Web sites, and have grown up around the matchmakers the idea of finding a mate and build a satisfactory conditions. How so many pairs with so few tools or, quite frankly, knowledge of what makes two people well together consistently forging relationships, which lasted for 50 years or more?

Here are 2 theories:

The expected much less from their primary relationship

It could be that the expectations were much lower for a marital relationship should give. You got married.You had children.He worked. She stayed home. He socialized with her male colleagues. She joined a social club to fill out his days. rules were rigid and so apparently impervious to change, that it never occurred to either the person questioned the nature of their interaction.

Couples had perhaps then a clearer and simpler set of needs for their marriage.The requested financial security, intimacy, a comfortable home and the rest — the rest was a lovely garden, but not missed.

It seems today we expect our helpers to fill a very large number of roles – companion, application-based, intellectual sounding board, partner in crime, co-parent, partner, etc.We set a standard that is so high that most people over time drawer in one way or another.If a man is an excellent provider, father, and playmate but a terrible communicator and the empathizer it can spell checking na prophets of doom for a relationship. If the woman is a great mother, nature and a huge support in difficult times, but perhaps not a fun-loving or energetic mate it can create tension and disappointment.

It is unrealistic to pile so many expectations on one person;and is it has a negative impact on the continuation of a long-term relationship?

They had fewer options, and simply toughed it out.

One of my paternal great-great-grandfathers was a farmer in Mississippi by of the twentieth century. [citation needed] After equipped with five healthy children died during the child's birth, his wife with their sixth.He was desperately safe, but the trend is a farm and raising six children needs left no time for grieving.He immediately split the children and lent them out to various relatives. He made his way to the nearest town, was given a seat in the local guesthouse and started looking for a wife.

He found my great-grandmother in a Baptist Church and launched in a courtship, can best be described as the business-like. She accepted – a home, family, and his love. they went back to the farm, rounded up children lived happily ever after and went to have five more children of their own.

It is the key to the life of the elderly relations?, they were just caught together? we know that economic opportunities for women were limited., not to mention the extreme the stigma of being divorced. in my great-grandfather, he could just run the holding without a woman to cook meals, trend and make children dozens of other vital jobs.

Did these cultural and economic obstacles to force the marriages that were fixed on the outside and miserable on the inside? years of work and to live side by side take relationships of necessity and create real love? Should we celebrate our modern less-permanent long-term relationships, because they give people the freedom to leave the dysfunctional marriages?

It is a question that can be asked in many areas of modern life. for all of our knowledge, research and discussion, we are really better? knowing more about relationships makes them easier to store and maintain or more frightening?

We would love to hear your thoughts

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Meeting in public: make a secure connection to or off-line

Meeting in public: make a secure connection to or off-line

To make the decision to satisfy an date person for the first time can be exciting. it is also a great opportunity to review the common sense practices that will give you the confidence and comfort, you will need to make sure your date goes off without a hitch.

When you meet someone new, there are important guidelines to remember.

1. meet in public – whether you have met someone on or off-line, never accept an offer to be picked up in your House and never agree to meet them at their house or hotel room. First dates should always be done in a public place such as a coffee house, amusement park, bowling alleys, or restaurant. Select a stain that is quiet enough to know each other, but where there are plenty of people around in case you start to feel uncomfortable.


2. tell a friend – it does not matter if you are a man or a woman, always tell at least one friend or family member where you are going and who you meet. Specify a time when you want to call them to let them know you are safe and secure home.It is also a good idea to casually mention to your date to your friends know where you are and who you're with.

3. take the phone – this one seems obvious.Today almost everyone carries a mobile phone. Some daters, ask a friend to call them during the day, just to check, you can always ignore this request, but it gives you the opportunity to step away and has a quick word, if you want to have a break.

4. Stay Sober – the best first dates happen when two people really learn to know each other in a relaxed setting. it is a time for sharing, listening and note whether you two are a good fit.Because you want to be sharp and insightful, it's best to avoid alcohol on a first date.If you plan to drink, you must do so in moderation.

5. take your own car – after to take your own transport, you are free to leave the date, when you feel ready. It also prevents a date too early to know the physical location of your home or where you work.When driving, always keep the quarters in your car to the parking meters and carry out cab fare in the event you have car trouble, or do not feel comfortable walking distance to your car.

6. protect your personal information – at any time when you meet someone new and out social crowded public places, it is good practice to view your personal items. Never stand your credit card, purse, wallet, or even your drink unattended while you glide away to restroom or make a phone call. If you plan to order another drink, wait until you return.

It is also a good common sense practices, when we talk with a new person to keep certain information to yourself. details of your children, where you live, work and bank is simply not appropriate, and, of course, any interest in such information should send up an immediate red flag.

Protect yourself from ID Theft. get help with LifeLock. register now.

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Betrayal: 5 steps to help you, rather than

Betrayal: 5 steps to help you, rather than
If you have recently had a bit of the sting out of betrayal, you probably feel like your life spinning out of control.Between tears, humiliation and confusion you may wonder how you ever want to survive. What follows are five crucial steps to successfully move forward and beat slice of treason.

If you have recently had a bit of the sting out of betrayal, you probably feel like your life spinning out of control now. Between your mind filling with madness and your emotions, flip from outrage to sadness, it is natural to keep asking, "How could this happen to me?"

You can also plan can itself up, ask how a smart, savvy, something the idiot-proof individually just as you could have been so blindsided by a person you trust and loved. between the tears, humiliation and confusion you may wonder how you ever want to survive. What follows are five crucial steps to successfully move forward and beat slice of treason. When completed, you will rise over the pain, and ultimately achieve peace of mind and forgiveness.


Step # 1: Practice forgive
If your partner is treason, you have caught up in a prison of pain, guilt and anger, it is time to forgive yourself, so you can be free from the pain, confusion and anger.Yes, your life is turned upside-down, and Yes, treason is unconscionably bad behaviour, but until you can forgive yourself and at least consider forgive your partner, your heart, soul and the body becomes a toxic container holding onto all the negativity, like a sponge. Do yourself a favor, spare yourself months self-loathing and blame by instead to give you the gift, forgiveness. Bear in mind to forgive is not to forget. You do not let the other person off the hook for the hurt you, but you are a deterioration in the grip of treason has over you, and allow greater focus on the many positive points in your life that can help you further. In the end is practicing forgiveness pathway to healing.

Step # 2: Self-Worth vs. rice
Instead of blame for your partners ' betrayal, appreciate your worth, do you know is probably just as you are, and recognize adultery or other treason had nothing to do with you.On the flip side, if you are trapped in a cycle of intense anger and blame against your partner, you must decide if you can start Let go and rebuild your relationship, or if it is time to go away and move on. in order to help you decide whether to stay or go, you must first understand the origin of treason. most people cheat and/or fail otherwise suffer from low self-esteem. They also have a high need for acceptance and approval. If your partner fits this description, you must decide if you can treat and cure or give your partner heave ho in order to restore. Either way, it is important to stop, since betrayal personally. Instead, free themselves from blame game, live in the present and proceed with the productive, positive thoughts. Sole in the knowing that you are not to blame.

Step # 3: permission to Heal
Instead of punishing themselves and hanging to "history" of your treason, give yourself permission to heal, starting right this minute. Sound impossible? it is not. Start by turning down these obsessive thoughts about the past and what can not be deleted. Next, practice-self-laws, remind yourself that you are a loving and caring individual who does not deserve to be betrayed. Next, start thinking you can learn from this painful experience. What lessons, you can now use to create a rock solid relationship in the future? Do you want to listen to your intestine, questions, red flag, and aware of the warning signs along the way? Do you love yourself enough to only allow, pleasure, healthy and loving relationship you deserve?If betrayal is a part of your journey (and like it or not, it is), what are the enlightening insights can help you heal in the months to come (and hopefully prevent any future failure)?

Step # 4: Rebuild Trust
While it is easy to fall into the massive mistrust against the partner forward treason pitfall to be aware that projecting your fear will not help you heal.If you plan to stay with your partner, you must focus on rebuilding trust.If you can't forgive and then don't waste time staying in the relationship and are trying to do the partner pay for their previous infringements.Instead, give you the opportunity to pick up the pieces and start again., Start by learning to trust yourself and your life choices.Instead of focusing on your AB and treason (not to mention the former relationship disappointments, which can add up to the right a distrust in although now), think of all of the great people in your life that you can trust, including yourself.Make a list of ten amazing choices and decisions that you have made in the last few years.Reflect on the people who have kept your aftenkomsammen, used their words and hangs at your side, you must kill the beast of treason soon and will from the victim is the Victor. increased slowly and steadily rebuild confidence with your partner (or simply with yourself) If you leave the relationship you better be able to Let go of fear, doubt and uncertainty.

Step # 5: No prosecution future partners
Another parody of treason may not present itself until your next relationship. Still, now is the time to ask yourself if you plan to punish the future partners for your ab sins, or if you want to be strong enough to give them the confidence they deserve. for example, if a future date says or does something that triggers a memory of betrayal, instead of treating them unfair, accusing them of lying, and then drag away without explanation, why not calmly and courageously express your fear and concern? if you cop to your uncertainty and give your date a chance to hear them, you will maximize your chances of building an open, honest and successful relationship.

Truth be told, every relationship has its rough patches, but if you continue with clarity, you are guaranteed a smoother ride. after a betrayal, it is all too easy to fall in a funk, doubt, anger and uncertainty about the future By working five. steps above, you are more likely to beat these treason blues, and ultimately build a more stable and satisfying future. when in doubt, stay focused, practice patience and maintain!

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Profile pictures = better dates. Here is why.

If you are interested in meeting people, and going on dates, photos must be part of your online dating experience. It can be scary? You bet, but it is the key to a successful experience. We look at the statement of reasons is it so important to put yourself out there and the types of images that are absolutely necessary.

Regardless of whether you are an online dating Pro, or a complete beginner, posting photos on your profile can be nerve wracking.After all makes people important decisions about you based on these shadow copies. If you happen to be at a time in your life where you don't feel you look your best to press the upload button, can be downright frightening.

But, no matter what you look LIKE posting more photos by yourself is a very good idea. leading to improved quality, communication, and better quality dates.

5 the pictures need

eHarmony offers you the opportunity to post the 12 photos. Ideally, you should take advantage of each post, and post all 12, but there are 5 types of pictures, which is crucial if you want to get the quality of communication you wish.

1. full face close-up
Your face large light. No sunglasses. Smiling. It is as simple as that.Never it hurts to put on a nice shirt or blouse.

2. full-text
Standing.Outside. In a green space From your feet to over head. Wearing clothes you would normally wear and tear on a first date. With the Sun is high in the sky, so that you are neither backlit nor effort.

3. Waist up
Sit and relax with your nice shirt/blouse. Lean forward a little. Smile. A park bench would be nice.

4. your passion
When you have clearly outlined your appearance, you can have some more fun with photos. Why not include a photo, showing you do something you really love — on a ball game, snowboard mountain areas or song karaoke button.Do not be afraid to show some personality with this shot. A small warning: avoid the photographs showing off expensive toys. You want the focus of the photo, you need to enjoy yourself, not your sailboat or sports car.

5. your favorite place
Most of us have a favorite spot.It might be a quiet hiking sufficiency. it may be on the beach or even on the mall. Grab a friend and get a photo of you in your favorite space. It is a great first date conversation fodder.


Nr-Photo consequence management
For example, you might not care, you have a large reason for not posting a photo.You can be in the Federal witness Protection Program, you can be a famous movie star.You may not like your looks. no matter what your reason, the fact is: users who do not post the photos do not get nearly as much communications as those who make. If you do not choose to post a photo means you seriously damage your chances of meeting a wonderful person online.

eHarmony has surveyed users on this question many times and found that it is quite common for them to adopt a policy will not be able to communicate with matches, there are photo-less.Why is it?Why would users refuse to even start communicating with somebody just because they don't have a photo?We asked them, and the most common cause for this is because if you do not post a photo, they do not believe you are seriously want a relationship.

People who really want to meet someone and fell in love with is pretty serious about the process. you know, it can be time consuming and expensive.They want to make each e-mail message and communication count.If they do not see your photo, you know, there are extra time and effort, they must use to lure a photo of you, they wonder why you would require this additional effort on the part of them, instead of just posting a photo.

In addition, users have a policy will not be able to communicate with photo-less profiles because they assume that lack of photo means you have something to hide.When the eHarmony launched 10 years ago, and most of the photos were taken with film cameras still opinions was a bit different.Because of the involved in taking photos and get them developed trouble could allow a user to post a message as "a photo need not, but I get them soon", and get some leniency notice from their matches.

No longer.With cameras in each phone and upload process so easy, users have clearly decided that there is no excuse to be photo-less, unless you are lazy or have something unpleasant to hide.

Why not-photogenic people need to post pictures

We are not all photogenic. This is a fact; some of us have big ears, small ears, all of this and a little there., some of us can relate to a gentleman who once wrote in asking for advice. "I am not an attractive man. I am actually quite ugly. What should I do at eHarmony? "

Advice, we gave this man, William, was that if he was really attractive, was all the more important that he posts his photos.

The fact is the physical attraction is a powerful thing, but this can vary greatly from person to person. If you have a look that is atypical, then are you sure you want to lead with this photo. If 95% of the population does not consider them attractive, do you want to exclude them from the very onset. This means that the 5% that communicates with you have seen your photos and decided that they are attracted to you. It also means you don't waste time communicating with a person can only reveal your photo later and make them disappear.

Woman named Kelly wrote in to tell us that she was in the midst of some serious weight loss. She wanted to wait until the process was done before she posted a photo on his profile. This can be a complicated issues involving medical procedures and long range planning. at the end of the day, we proposed that she do two things first post a current set of images, and update them very often – perhaps even weekly, if her weight loss it is considerable. Ideally, she should give its matches well look at who she is, right now. not, as she was not as she wants to be.

Second, we proposed that she shares this info, not on his profile page, but in an early interview with his battles if she's comfortable. We advise never users share personal medical information on the first date, but this will let her struggles to understand why there may be a drastic difference between the woman in the photos and the woman shows for dinner.

By eHarmony

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Dating Unplugged

Dating disconnected
Your undivided attention is crucial for successful dating — so don't let the phone, or other gadgets are on the way. here are three proposals to get you started.

Now we have all experienced some variation of this scene: two people sit together in a cosy restaurant or coffee shop. At first glance, it seems obvious they have on a date. The setting is romantic.Both are nicely dressed neatly and well-kept. they're closer than mere friends or business relations can be expected to do. Each displayed completely absorbed in the moment, neither able to tear down their eyes away from the ... a mobile phone.

They are together and from each other. Talk.Text mobile. Tweeting. Get a stock quote or control sport scores. Who knows?

Suddenly, it is impossible to know by observation alone on two really interested in each other or not. could be — but what they communicate by becoming so easily distracted from their chance to enjoy each other's company?What could cause them to abandon the intimate personal contact — touch the hands across the table, eyes searching each shade of her face, the ears of the bathing water in subtle music in his voice? What could drag them out of the circuit around each other and throw them back down to the routine, the secular, mechanical? here is an answer: bad habits.


The truth is that our communication technology has advanced so far, so fast that it has in many cases, running and left common courtesy — and even sense — behind. somewhere along the way, we sent our electronic toys to the head of the line in our lives. If we hope to reverse this mistake and to preserve the essential humanity of our relationships, we must put our gadgets back in the right perspective.

A good place to start is to reintroduce an old-fashioned and neglected Word — etiquette. The dictionary defines it this way: "the rules and conventions relating to correct or polite behavior."Here are three suggestions to get you started:

1. go off grid.It is true, disable the darn thing for the evening.Admittedly, the mere idea send many people into a panic attack.We have come to believe constant "connectedness" is essential for life as we know it — and we are wrong. try it and see for yourself.The joy of romantic present a couple of hours will far outweigh the something "out there" you can miss.

2. If you keep the item, choose not to answer it.A phone call in the middle of a romantic evening is like a foreign interception on the shoulder of the dance floor "cut" on your time, no specific. how you handle the interruption will speak volumes about your true feelings partner. answer your phone or reply to a text message, and you communicate clearly to your date "something is more important than you." is a better choice is to ignore words come from the phone and focus on the words come from your partner foot.

3. If you must absolutely pick, forgive yourself and talk at a distance.You would continue a long-lasting, exclusive conversation with another person in the presence of a person you cared about people are doing is considered broad. rude and insulting. Talk on the phone, instead of in person is not better.

When you are with your partner, put your best foot forward — and minds — at cost, without interruption time with a person who could be the most compelling aspect of your life.

By eHarmony

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