We should Do about relationships?
By eHarmony
Means more knowledge about a subject that always lead to better results? What with the couple, who have been married for 50 years, 60 years and more?They came up in an age where knowledge about healthy relationships was limited, they are just lucky.? What do you think?
The number one song of the year was "Sweet Georgia Brown".Charlie Chaplin excluded, box office, and f. Scott Fitzgerald published "The Great Gatsby." it was the age of Al Capone and Louis Armstrong. A first-class stamp cost $. 02. it was in 1925.
It was also the year of the 18-year-old Clarence Vail proposed to his 16-year-old baby Mayme. they were married in Hugo, Minnesota and have resided in the way of 83 years, as reported by msnbc.com.Their secret? they have no secret!"I guess you just stick, what is to come," says Mayme.
They have lasted through a world war, a depression, six children, different health challenges;and Mayme points out that they have not had an argument since 1946.
A conversation with a few like Vail on the keys to a lasting relationship can be rather dissatisfying, because they have so little to share on the subject. it is almost like they got married, and the relationship never gave a second thought. could it be secret their long relationship?
There is no doubt, to the extent of self-critical and the discussion around relationships has grown exponentially in the last 50 years. An entire industry of books, coaches, Web sites, and have grown up around the matchmakers the idea of finding a mate and build a satisfactory conditions. How so many pairs with so few tools or, quite frankly, knowledge of what makes two people well together consistently forging relationships, which lasted for 50 years or more?
Here are 2 theories:
The expected much less from their primary relationship
It could be that the expectations were much lower for a marital relationship should give. You got married.You had children.He worked. She stayed home. He socialized with her male colleagues. She joined a social club to fill out his days. rules were rigid and so apparently impervious to change, that it never occurred to either the person questioned the nature of their interaction.
Couples had perhaps then a clearer and simpler set of needs for their marriage.The requested financial security, intimacy, a comfortable home and the rest — the rest was a lovely garden, but not missed.
It seems today we expect our helpers to fill a very large number of roles – companion, application-based, intellectual sounding board, partner in crime, co-parent, partner, etc.We set a standard that is so high that most people over time drawer in one way or another.If a man is an excellent provider, father, and playmate but a terrible communicator and the empathizer it can spell checking na prophets of doom for a relationship. If the woman is a great mother, nature and a huge support in difficult times, but perhaps not a fun-loving or energetic mate it can create tension and disappointment.
It is unrealistic to pile so many expectations on one person;and is it has a negative impact on the continuation of a long-term relationship?
They had fewer options, and simply toughed it out.
One of my paternal great-great-grandfathers was a farmer in Mississippi by of the twentieth century. [citation needed] After equipped with five healthy children died during the child's birth, his wife with their sixth.He was desperately safe, but the trend is a farm and raising six children needs left no time for grieving.He immediately split the children and lent them out to various relatives. He made his way to the nearest town, was given a seat in the local guesthouse and started looking for a wife.
He found my great-grandmother in a Baptist Church and launched in a courtship, can best be described as the business-like. She accepted – a home, family, and his love. they went back to the farm, rounded up children lived happily ever after and went to have five more children of their own.
It is the key to the life of the elderly relations?, they were just caught together? we know that economic opportunities for women were limited., not to mention the extreme the stigma of being divorced. in my great-grandfather, he could just run the holding without a woman to cook meals, trend and make children dozens of other vital jobs.
Did these cultural and economic obstacles to force the marriages that were fixed on the outside and miserable on the inside? years of work and to live side by side take relationships of necessity and create real love? Should we celebrate our modern less-permanent long-term relationships, because they give people the freedom to leave the dysfunctional marriages?
It is a question that can be asked in many areas of modern life. for all of our knowledge, research and discussion, we are really better? knowing more about relationships makes them easier to store and maintain or more frightening?
We would love to hear your thoughts
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The secret to stable relationships – 5 things most people take for GrantedWhy good relationships will than by going bad?
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