Diagnose commitment phobia
A reluctance to commit themselves to a relationship can mean many things. here is how to tell them apart.
Move a relationship from the "just dating" phase to the next level can feel like a round of "says a mole".
There are popular arcade games player stands in front of a machine with a flat top, the size of a small kitchen table. Periodic, automated moles pop out of a head of a half dozen holes in the surface. The aim of the game is to BOP on you in the head with a mallet, oversized before they disappear again.The faster you swing, the more they pop up and down. Sounds easy enough; But the moles is quick little rodents. Just when you think you have been given a in your sights — you do not.
If this reminds you of your romantic relationship — a constant game of "catch-me-If-you-can ' — so you can be involved with a person suffering from commitment phobia. You may be the person. Regardless of whether you hide in the holes, or holding the hammer wants your partner would just stand still for a second, this article is for you. Here are four things you should know:
Commitment phobia often misdiagnosed."Phobia" is a word that carries a negative connotation, imply irrational, even obsessive fear. but you should be cautious before accusing the partner, or even to be "scared" to commit. Careful deliberation when you make a decision with lifelong consequences are not necessarily irrational or timid. It is sometimes the most sensible thing to do. Double-checking your parachute before jumping out of an aircraft makes you acrophobic?Certainly not.
Commitment phobia flares up when "what next?" is coming too early.If you or your partner feel unsettled at the idea of settling, the signal is nothing more than the need to allow more time go by before considering an exclusive relationship.Speed up to nail down your future together can, paradoxically, poison it — if the time is not yet right. remember, just because one of you feel ready now does not mean the other should as well.Each of us must arrive in life-changing decisions in our own time.
Commitment phobia can signal the unresolved pain in a person's past.When a relationship takes longer to develop than we would like to, we often respond in frustration, fluctuates hammer harder than ever.It is unlikely to help, especially when the reason for the reluctance is a still-tender emotional wounds one of them, the shielding from further injury. If a previous commitment went badly, it may take an extra helping of compassion and understanding — easily on the allegations — before you are ready to try again.
Commitment phobia is sometimes exactly, it seems — a Dodge.When all other options have been considered and discarded, what is left can be an unpleasant truth — your partner withdraws his or her feet to keep options open in case of any better come. normally found other obvious warning signs and. If so, call it, just as it is and move on.
What is the best antidote against confusion over commitment phobia? Patience ... judgment ... and communication — lots of it.
By eHarmony
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